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The Three F’s: Are They Stopping You From Living Your Best Life?

catching the sunI have always had big dreams of the things I wanted to do in my life. Maybe it was because I missed out on a lot of things because I was a teen mom and young wife. It still didn’t stop me from dreaming about all of the things I would one day do. For many years now I have created a vision board in January. And in December I get so excited when I can cross off things that I have accomplished.  It wasn’t always like this. Some years the things on my vision board seemed far away. I didn’t accomplish one thing on it. It was during that time that I was allowing the three F’s to control me. 

So what are the three “F’s”? I’m glad you asked. They are very powerful forces that can stop you from moving forward with your dreams. They are fear, family, and friends. Now when you put it like that, they don’t sound so bad, do they? But believe me they can be quite powerful either separately or all combined. So let me share how the three “F’s” can put a halt on your dreams.



fearYears ago I was out shopping on a very windy day. Somehow my hair got caught in the car door. When I tried to move forward to start the car, I couldn’t move. Can I tell you I was so scared. I sat there expecting the worst. Somebody had me by my hair. I did not move. I was paralyzed. I didn’t know what to expect. What was going to happen next.  That is what fear will do. It will paralyze you and keep you from moving forward. You expect the worst because you are afraid of the unknown. Fear is a natural emotion and everyone feels fear at some point in their lives. It is also the killer of many dreams. Fear will stop you from starting your own business, writing that book, going after a new job. It will fill you with doubt. Am I good enough, smart enough, worthy enough? It’s the unknown that you are afraid of. What will happen if I do (insert what you want here). Let me tell you what I do when I am afraid. First I make up my mind that I am doing it afraid. I repeat my favorite scripture “I can do all things through Christ who is my strength” and then I act as if. I stand tall, put on my confident face, and step right on out of my comfort zone.


Family and Friends

group discussionWhen you decide to do something different your family and friends can play a big part in holding you back. Either intentionally or unintentionally, they can cause you to put your dreams on hold. There are many reasons for this. They may be afraid that you will change and no longer have time for them, they may not want to see you hurt if you try something and it fails. They are used to you being their wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. For some, they may be so used to having you available whenever they come calling that they can’t see you in the new role.  Some might not want to do anything different and when you do, it shines a light on them. That is when you sit down and have a courageous conversation to share how important this is to you. You can also share how any pertinent information that would make it easier for them to accept. Unfortunately, you may lose some friends, but if this happens it only makes room for the new friends that will support you and cheer you on. You need to surround yourself with people who support you and your dreams.


So now you see how the three F’S can stop you from following your dreams.  From my experience, I find that it is always important to make the decision to follow your heart, to do it afraid and to do it in spite of any opposition you may get from family and friends. In the long run, it is the best decision and you don’t want to deal with the big “R” (regret).

Conchetta JonesConchetta Jones, a Shazzy Fitness guest blogger, is a Certified Life Coach, personalizing in personal development and confidence, and founder and CEO of "She's All That!" - a personal development and mentoring organization for girls and Owner of Confident Woman She's Alll That! - a lifestyle company for women. She loves motivating and inspiring women and girls to step out of the box that society puts them in and live life on their own terms.


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