This is a strange time that we are living through. The whole world being shut down. Food shortages. Toilet tissue shortages. People not working. A sense of the unknown. Yes, it is a strange time and also a scary time. People are dying. People are scared.
When you don’t know what tomorrow might bring, it can bring on a sense of overwhelm, fear, and anxiety. Some people try to go on as if everything is okay. I was one of those people. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of worrying and talking about the Coronavirus all the time. But the daily list of people dying or sick with the Coronavirus on my Facebook timeline was depressing. Seeing people getting into fights and arguments over a roll of toilet tissue was bad.
The final straw for me happened two weeks ago. One Saturday morning, I woke up and I just didn’t want to get out of bed. Corona had struck. Not my body, but my mind. I was sad. I had such a feeling of hopelessness. When would the world open? What would it look like when it did open? All questions that I could not answer. Actually, no one could. There were no answers.
But I am the strong one. I am the one other people come to. I handle problems. But this day, I knew that I needed to do something different. I needed to honor my feelings and work on taking care of me. I knew that it was okay to not be okay at this minute. Okay to not be in control.
So, what did I do? I listened to my body. I kept the curtains closed, I stayed in my pajamas and I watched Hallmark movies all day. I didn’t call anyone. I didn’t look at my social media. I got lost in the romances happening on the screen. Each episode ending happily ever after. I journaled about my feelings. I said out loud that I was upset, scared, worried, mad, curious, anxious. All of the things that I was feeling. I admitted it. And I felt better. I prayed and listened to praise and worship music. I cried. I cried for the people who had died from this disease. I cried for the people who were fighting through. I cried for the people who had lost their jobs. I cried for me. And with each tear, I felt lighter. I felt at peace. Tears are not a sign of weakness. They are cleansing. I felt so much better the next day. Once I admitted that I was not Wonder Woman and that I was not good…things became better.
Don’t be afraid to give in to your feelings. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you. Just know that we will get through this.